Well yesterday marked the last day of my detox and I can honestly say it has been a 31 day journey of limitations and freedoms all wrapped into one amazing month.
My protocol started with Ty Bollinger’s 31 day program laid out to cleanse my colon, liver, gall bladder, kidneys, and blood by taking these supplements and abstaining from food except for juice and onion broth for the first 22 days. 
As I had mentioned in my last blog, I made it nine days without food, but then I started introducing raw veggies and nuts to keep from losing too much weight. I was honestly shocked to see the scale reflect what I weighed when Brandon and I went to prom our senior year.
Yes, you have permission to laugh at this photo.
I struggled the first couple of weeks with being so limited, that allowing myself to eat a salad felt so indulgent. It brought me to a much better mental place and my family didn’t have to suffer through mom being “hangry” all the time. The best thing about cutting out everything, was that my body craved healthy foods and for a while now I have not been a slave to sugar or carbs as I once was. I was happy to serve chocolate fondue last night without having the desire to partake in it!
My intent with this “in between time” was to shrink my tumors through this detox (check), read a ton of books on nutrition (check), and do everything I could to influence the results of my next PET scan. I even made a couple of trips to Phoenix to see an energy healer. I know that sounds kind of “out there” and while he proclaimed the name of Jesus and said his gift was given to him by God, I felt a little uncomfortable spending $275 for 45 minutes. Brandon was skeptical, but supportive, but I insisted on throwing everything at the wall to see what would work. God bless my husband who went along with this to appease me.
I was desperate.
And that’s where God stepped in to guide me. After my second session with the healer, I went to a women’s bible study where I randomly sat at a table with these women who told me about the healing rooms at our church. They were skeptical of the healer, of course, but not in a self-righteous way, but more so concerned about the costs I was incurring to be healed. Not coincidentally, that evening our pastor said something very profound… “decisions based on fear on not blessed by God.” It hit me right in the face, that I had been operating in a mode of desperation. Doing everything I could was not trusting God to heal me, but rather trusting myself. So I realized that I needed to step more into my faith, lean into Him, and trust. I went the healing rooms that Saturday and was prayed over by three amazing prayer warriors and I started the 21 Day Total Freedom study that our church had begun 10 days prior. Why I dragged my feet to join this I wasn’t quite sure, but I knew this was a nudging from Lord that I needed to do it.
It has been nothing short of amazing!
And so most people are asking me… what are you eating now? Well, it looks a lot like this… 
And my new vice (because everyone has one) is nuts…
I have to leave myself a reminder to not go crazy!
I feel like a squirrel most days because nuts are the one thing that overall I read that is okay to eat… and I love ’em! They are high in fat and calorie dense, but I am learning so much about the right kind of calories from all these books. Perhaps one day I will have a degree in nutrition… I feel as though I am halfway there already! Sheesh!
So what I lost through limits, I exponentially gained in freedom. I was shedding a lot of unnecessary baggage (fear, doubt, worry, and resentment) along with the toxins and some extra weight.
This morning in my Jesus Calling devotion (I love that Sarah Young… she has a way with words!) this is what I read today:
” Rather than trying to maintain control of your life, abandon yourself to my will. Though this may feel frightening – even dangerous- the safest place to be is in My will. “
I think I finally “get it” and I appreciate the journey I have taken to really understand what this means.
One month from today I will be at Stanford for another PET scan. I am finally not fearful of the outcome because I know it will be exactly what it’s supposed to be.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7
Onward and Upward and Happy Belated Valentines Day ❤️,
Kay
Kay Blackburn 
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